Continuing with our decision to night wean 19 month old Mackynzie, with Dr. Jay Gordon's method of changing sleep patterns in the family bed, we are now on night 6 (about to go on to night 7 tonight.). You can read about night 1, night 2, night 3, night 4, and night 5.
Oh night 6... You surprising, wonderful night, you...
If you have been keeping up with our night weaning experience, you will know that yesterday I was concerned about how night 6 would go. Mackynzie had had a really late nap (she didn't wake up until 3:30pm and she usually has her nap around 10:30am.) and before all this, that meant bed time was basically going to be a big flop.
It actually went quite well! She was sleeping by something like 8:30, and didn't wake at all between the time she went to bed and I went to sleep. I even had to change her entire outfit, and the bed because she was sleeping so heavily she had an accident. She hardly flinched with me moving her around and even sitting her up to change her shirt! I came to bed later then usual, at around 11pm, and had a hard time falling asleep. Go figure. She sleeps like a log and I am restless... haha I think I fell asleep somewhere between 11:30 and midnight, sort of dreading the thought that she would most likely be up in an hour or so and i was so tired. I laid my hand on her chest to make sure she was still breathing ( Yes, sometimes I am still ridiculous like that.) and must have closed my eyes, because that's all I remember. She woke up calmly and sat up and made some random noises to get my attention. When I opened my eyes, I was surprised to see it was very light out through the blinds. I glanced at the clock and had to do a double take. It was 6:38! We slept through the night! For the very first time in our entire life together! I asked her If she would like to nurse then, and she giggled and said 'ya!' with a little bounce. She cuddled against me and nursed. We had done this every morning since she was born, but this time felt different. She rubbed my belly and chest, and unlatched to smile at me a couple times. I combed my fingers through her hair and made humming noises at her. Maybe it is because I am finally getting some sleep, that I can now fully appreciate this, but I felt like our relationship had grown stronger, and onto its next chapter. I didn't have the itchy, icky feeling I had been getting so many times before when we nursed. I was just enjoying her in that moment, and she was enjoying me. Everything felt right again and the past few weeks of us feeling disconnected through all the chaos that our life has been, felt as though it had never existed. I watched her in that moment and breathed a heavy sigh of relief. We weren't lost. I wasn't a bad mom who was loosing her daughter already. Though our bond had always been there, it was stronger than ever now. It is stronger than ever. And it's this beautiful new chapter of our relationship, where she is expressing her feelings and love right back to me, in ways besides nursing.
I feel good.
She fell asleep again, and we slept until about 7:45-8am. We woke up and started our day with a really great fresh start. Tonight might be the complete opposite of last night, who knows. But that doesn't matter. We needed that night and we got it. Things are getting better and we are sure to have some less than perfect nights ahead, but I bet we will have some pretty great ones too.
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