Cody and Rainbow Talk: Our Love Story (Bonus Post)

Check out this weeks Cody and Rainbow Talk by clicking right HERE!

What's a love story without some throw back photos for your viewing pleasure?

(engagement weekend)

(engagement weekend)

(engagement party)

 (wedding)

(now)

Last Trip to the Zoo as Three

We had an appointment with our midwife last Thursday, so we made a day of the trip to the city by doing some last Christmas shopping, and hitting the zoo and zoo lights! 

 This was our last family trip to the zoo as a family of three. Next time we visit, there will be four of us! 

I need to get photos off of my phone so I have room for Christmas, so enjoy this zoo photo dump. 

All the photos of Cody and I are taken by Mackynzie. She is our little paparazzi. 

She got this lovely eye brow bonk by distractedly walking into an exhibit sign. Poor girl. Pony band aids help.

Half a Decade

 I have to take a moment to acknowledge my sweet guy. He is truly a blessing in my life, and has given me everything I always dreamed about having. 

 This week, we celebrate 5 years together. I knew when I married him that I would love him more and more with every passing year, but I didn't have any clue as to what that would actually be like. To witness just how far your heart can stretch and grow and deepen, is something so inexplainably precious. 

 There is absolutely nothing stronger than one's love for their child, but the love for the person who blessed you with children? That's just as strong in a completely different way. 

To my love, my partner, my husband; happy 5 year anniversary! 

Just for fun, I thought I would share some personal things about us/our marriage.

Look how little we looked! Especially Cody! 

* There isn't a doubt in our mind that we were meant to be together. True soul mates. And we are only 22 years old! 

* We were polar opposites on the outside when we met in high school. So much so that after the shock wore off that we were a couple, I don't think we had one person that thought we would 'last'. 

* Being young and finding your love is hard stuff. You face everything on your own, but thankfully, we had each other and we had faith in our love and it's strength. We listened to our hearts and let it lead us, despite what everyone else thought. I think that's what made our marriage 'age' so quickly. That doubled when we decided to start our family and have a baby at 18. 

* We honestly know everything there is to know about each other. Like all of it. We made it a priority in the beginning of our relationship, and now we have zero embarrassment, discomfort, or reservations about what we say or how open we are. The closest I can ever explain it is that I'm as comfortable with Cody as I am as myself. That goes from emotional to body wise. (we don't even poop with the door closed :o haha)

More young us at our engagement party

* This one is for me, but Cody saved me. I had a rough life before I met him, and had I not met him, I would have gone on to be successful; however, he saved my heart. He let me lay out every awful thing and raw feeling and broken piece, and he didn't fix it for me. Instead, he held my waist and walked me through healing until I was strong enough to just hold his hand. He listened, and he never once told me my feelings were weird or invalid. Not once did he see me as broken or damaged. He supported and encouraged and coached when needed. He filled me with kisses and loving words and he helped me heal all those broken pieces. I don't even know how you could repay someone for that. I now get to walk around a women with a strong and wise soul because i didn't just cover up all the baggage. I just know I wouldn't be me, like that deep down core of myself, if it weren't for his love and support. 

* Cody is my furnace. He will have to deal with my cold feet forever, but it's a lovely combination. He warms me up and I keep him from getting too hot at night. 

* We met in high school, when we were cast as romantic roles in a school play. (We had never seen each other before that, and the crazy thing is we grew up 3 doors (and a little road) away from each other!)

* Cody LOVES to dance, and i'm terribly uncoordinated with no confidence in my dance skills. He makes me dance whenever he can and we laugh the entire time. 

* Cody proposed while we were camping, by making me reach into his butt pocket. It was actually really cute, but we always laugh about that part.

* This one is super personal, but totally part of our story. I lost my virginity to my hubby. Something I wasn't planning to hold out for per-say, but I am so grateful for how it all played out. 

* Our first kiss was in an alleyway behind our houses. He leaned in really close and chickened out last second. He recovered shortly after by telling me to look each way (which I obliged to with confusion), then back at him where he shocked me with the sweetest kiss. I will never ever forget our first kiss. He is embarrassed by it, but I love the special memory! 

Thanks for taking a little memory walk with me, and enduring my mushiness. 

And just one more time, in case you missed it,

 I LOVE MY HUSBAND! Happy anniversary Mr. Miller. 

It's the tough times that grow us.

 So I feel like I haven't done a real post on here in a while...

  In short, life has been busy. More so, it's been stressful. I have been a giant ball of anxiety and stress and emotion (completely unrelated to pregnancy.). I'm not going to lie to you, living with the in-laws has been hard. Like really hard. It's tested everything in me, and has made me work on things that don't typically get a work out. For this, I am thankful. In the big picture, our decision to move home for a year has been a blessing. But day to day it's a challenge. Lately, I have been really struggling to push through these final months. this past week, I even hit that really weak place. I threw my hands up and just said 'I can't do this anymore. I'm done. I have nothing left.' accompany that with messy sobs that were, of course, able to flow more freely due to pregnancy and I'm sure you get the picture.

 It's times like these, that I am especially grateful for my husband. The way we balance each other out is hard for me to understand. I'm not going to try to; I know we are soul mates and that we are the perfect combination for each other.
  Cody held me close in this moment and while there was a pause in my tears, he lifted my chin and smiled at me.

"I know this is hard. But this is our test. Look how far you've come! We are so close to being done, and if anyone can turn these last months into something amazing, it's you.I will do whatever I can to help you. Let me clean, and please, for the love of god, put your feet up at the end of the day and let me take care of what didn't get done. Go to bed early, read a book- let's go get you a new book-, have a bath, just relax. This is that turning point where you get through the hardest part, and then make something awesome of it. Think of how awesome it's going to be to say 'We did it!' and then get to continue on with our life. You've got this, hun, and I'm right here with you"

Of course, i'm paraphrasing a little because I didn't write it as he said it, but still, he is amazing. How I got so lucky, I will never know, but I will live my life trying my best to love him exactly how he deserves to be loved.

 I feel better now. I have a new spring in my step and I can see the finish line. I don't know exactly when we are moving, I'm hoping before Christmas, but January at the latest. You never know, it could even be soon. This pregnant mama just wants  to nest! I will get to though, and in the mean time, i'm doing everything I can to prep and list-make and organize to make things easier when we do move.

 Cody and Mackynzie's birthday is next week (crazy!) and that kick starts lots of busy events to prepare for before our little boy makes his arrival.I'm super excited to celebrate them.

 I'm taking this time to just step back and focus on the good, important stuff, but when I do have spare time, I plan to spend it here and ignore my social media networks for a while. I just don't have time to keep up with it all right now!

 The air is chilly, the leaves are crunchy, and winter is giving hints of it's impending arrival. Happy October everyone! I hope you make it a good one!

Long Weekend Escape

 For the long weekend, we decided to head off on an impromptu camping trip.

   Mackynzie and I packed and shopped and readied on Friday, and as soon as Cody came home from work that evening, we were off. Three people, two dogs, and a bunch of camping gear surprisingly fit quite cozily in the mustang. We went to the same campground (neighboring sites) that Cody's parents had been camping at since Wednesday, so we were able to send all of the bigger camping gear (blankets, tent, toys, bikes etc) in the trailer and truck with them. It worked out perfectly.

 I have to say that one of my favorite things about Alberta, is that you can drive an hour in any direction and experience a completely different environment. We have the rocky mountains, flat plains, dessert valleys, snowy escapes, and rivers and lakes to explore.

 With only a short hour and a half drive, we entered a new world of forested mountains and beautiful country side, with farm houses tucked against the sides of massive hills. Cows roamed freely through meadowed fields, and we stopped for crossing cows both on the way there and back. We drove there at sun set and the views were just breathtaking.

 We spent our days doing a good mix of lazily playing and exploring around our site, and collecting things from the woods and discovering and climbing by the ankle-deep river. Cody even managed to master the smore (No more unmelted chocolate problems.)

 We had a great time, and my very favorite part was that we were completely cut off. We had no cell service, no technology, nothing. It was just us and togetherness. Exactly as it should be. I always benefit so much from these little get away's. My soul desperately needs them, and sometimes I don't realise it until we have slipped away and I've breathed in the fresh air and admired the silence. Cody and I spent our nights by the fire, talking about everything and anything until the stars were bright and the night turned crisp. We heaped together under piles of blankets and sleeping bags, arms and paws and legs and tails overlapping, sleeping soundly from our day filled with sunshine and walking. We woke with the sun, slept when tired, ate when hungry, and can count on one hand the number of times we looked at the clock.

 I knew I needed this trip. The last camping for us as a family of three. Strengthening the family bond that has been sent through the wash with living with in-laws. I needed to rid myself of the distractions completely, so that when we came home, I would keep it at a minimal. Able to easily notice when a second of boredom had me reaching for my phone, and move to a new task. I was stretched very thin and was feeling that maybe building a nice box house would be better for our last couple months of living here. This trip focused me. Cooled my rising anxiety. Calmed my frazzled brain. Mostly I needed this trip as a mother. I needed to step away from every outside influence, and focus on my instincts and my connection with my daughter. I felt myself slipping from the mother, wife, and parent I want to be -I am- and I hated every bit of it.

 I spent the weekend talking with my daughter. Snuggling by the fire. Enjoying what I know to be the trickling nursing sessions of self-weaning. Staring at her face. Telling her over and over how much I love her and how proud I am of her and all of the wonderful things that make her herself. I never want her to forget or question those things. I remembered to appreciate every ounce of motherhood; My soul would be missing its largest part without it. My sweet girl will be three in a few short weeks. I want to make sure I embrace and soak up her two's, and be excited for and make memorable her three's.

 I realised just how much the online world has effected my life. It leaves a very bitter taste in my mouth. I made a promise to myself, Cody and Mackynzie (and this baby) that I would interact just long enough to enjoy everything I love about it, then go back to actually living and loving my life rather than being so busy documenting it. One weekend did not fix my poor habits, but it woke me up, and let me taste the free, simple, love-filled life I crave and strive for.

I am thankful.

Since we had no service, our phones got left in the car for most of the trip, and I brought my camera not realizing it was dead. We did manage to grab a few photos though. My favorites are the moments I captured in my head and heart though.