Thursday, October 31, 2013

24 Weeks

sorry for poor picture quality! night time photo. 
Ignore my man socks pulled up for my boots haha..

How far along? 24 weeks

Total weight gain: 11 pounds

Maternity clothes? My version of them, yes.

Stretch marks? No new ones.

Sleep: pretty broken right now. I have a cold. But I feel well rested despite the random night waking.

Best moment of the week: Halloween! it was fun to dress the bump and trick or treat with my loves.

Miss anything? Bending...

Number of times I get up to pee at night: sometimes none, sometimes twice.

Movement: Lots! I try to guess his position but sometimes the thumps keep me guessing!

Food Cravings: I don't get cravings in pregnancy apparently, but I love good chicken fingers and tomato things. Oh, and hot chocolate.

Anything making you queasy or sick: No.

Labor signs: No

Symptoms: I literally feel him move and my bladder will get pinched and holy smokes is that a feeling.. He is so darn low so i'm uncomfortable in that area already (nothing terribly bothersome though.). I've also had muscle craps when walking too fast or far on top of my belly, which is odd feeling. Guess that's ligament pain?

Belly button in or out? Out. Cody wins his guess and it popped within his two week time frame!

Wedding rings on or off? On

Happy or moody most of the time? So happy!

Looking forward to: Oh, everything! These next few months hold many exciting things for us. I'm really glad I'm pregnant and get to meet him soon, because little babies are giving me squishy baby fever!

I have a lot to update on and plan to as soon as I get a spare moment. Full birth plan details to come.

He definitely hides more in the mornings and sinks into my back a bit more.


Thursday, October 24, 2013

23 Weeks

(please excuse the mess haha)

How far along? 23 weeks, 4 days (when photo was taken. my 'change day' is Friday)

Total weight gain: This little boy had a growth spurt! like a crazy one! I'm now 140, and I gained it all of a sudden. So cool to watch this beautiful belly grow. total weight gain so far is about 10 pounds, take a pound or two (I vary with weight by a couple pounds.).

Maternity clothes? Bigger, more comfortable clothes, yes.

Stretch marks? Nope. Looking good so far, but we shall see.

Sleep: Kind of uneven this week. I just feel a lot of pressure if I lay in one spot for too long. Maybe pressure is the wrong word. Heavy? It's hard to explain, I just have to flip over throughout the night. And pee too. But I am not complaining! I'm just so blessed that I get to experience this again.

Best moment of the week: His movements became much bigger this week. The kind that make me stop and feel for his little feet and knees. He sticks his bum way out too. Also, I think I might actually look pregnant to the random stranger now. What I am wearing permitting. I've definitely got the ball under shirt thing going on. (I still am carrying extremely similar to how I did with Mackynzie, except with her I ate a lot of crap food and so I gained a lot of weight... in places like my face.)

Miss anything? Tea. Sometimes I just want a giant mug.

Number of times I get up to pee at night: once or twice.

Movement: Lots!

Food Cravings: I did have a darker decaf tea with milk and honey two times this week. I feel that it's better than indulging in something like a snickers haha.

Anything making you queasy or sick: People's laundry detergents. It always has, but It's way more prominent now. I cannot stand chemical filled detergents and fabric softener-bleh that's the worst. The softener. Makes my head hurt just thinking of it! same goes for fabreeze or any other fake stuff.

Labor signs: No

Symptoms: I have experienced some muscle pain in my calf a couple times now. That's pretty annoying. (Natural friends- is that some sign that I need something or anything along those lines?)

Belly button in or out? Oh, it's definitely trying to escape...

Wedding rings on or off? On- no change in fingers as of right now.

Happy or moody most of the time? Happy. Trying to make the best and let the things that irritate me about our situation go. I'm feeling better.

Looking forward to: I get to see  my beautiful midwife and discuss our birth officially! I will share 'the plan' with you all once we have had the appointment.

Sunday, October 20, 2013

22 Weeks

How far along? 22 weeks

Maternity clothes? Should I even include this one? I am in some of what *I consider maternity clothes -aka clothes that were too big that I saved for pregnancy.

Stretch marks? No new ones. oiling up the belly every night.

Sleep: Getting a little restless. Mostly I just wake up sore and have to roll over in the night.

Best moment of the week: He moves around a lot when I start talking to Cody. especially if he's at work and I talk to him on the phone. I think it's so amazing, because Cody must make my heart beat a certain way and he knows and feels it.

Miss anything? No, not really.

Number of times I get up to pee at night: Once or twice, but sometimes I hold it... and regret it.

Movement: He moves and kicks while at the same time, is really mellow.

Food Cravings: None

Anything making you queasy or sick: No.

Labor signs: No

Symptoms: the sleep thing, and tired some days.

Belly button in or out? half out.

Wedding rings on or off? on

Happy or moody most of the time? Happy (still stressed about house stuff, but that will pass..)

Looking forward to: the big movements when I can really see what's sticking out.

21 Weeks

How far along? 21 weeks

Maternity clothes? Just bigger.

Stretch marks? No new ones

Sleep: No change. Good.

Best moment of the week: I'm not going to lie, I'm 2 weeks behind on writing these so my memory is a bit foggy.

Miss anything? Not this week.

Number of times I get up to pee at night: once or twice. If I hold it, he gets really mad and kicks and thumps like crazy.

Movement: Lots! He is quiet at night and through parts of the day, but moves in spurts when I wake up, around 10 am, after lunch, about 4pm and then around seven and then seems to 'sleep' for the night. Very similar to Mackynzie.

Food Cravings: not really, no.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope.

Labor signs: No

Symptoms: Just not being able to move as quickly as I'm used to.

Belly button in or out? half way out.

Wedding rings on or off? on

Happy or moody most of the time?  Happy, but stressed with our last stretch of living here.

Looking forward to: Meeting my sweet boy! and starting my hypnobabies.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

It's good to just be happy

 I have a lot of feelings tonight. Pregnancy helps those flow more freely, but I have nights where I hit that deep ache of my heart and i get to just swim around there for a little while. Usually I feel overwhelmed and cry these nights. Overcome with raw and humbling gratitude. Most of it stems from motherhood; this crazy journey that throws you in every direction and teaches you every lesson that really matters -should you choose to learn. Being blessed with the privilege of raising this breath taking little person -soon to be two little people- I don't even have words to describe this feeling. My heart is raw and vulnerable as it grows and walks outside of my body. I really couldn't imagine this life any other way.

 My baby girl turned three last week. We celebrated three years of our life together. I honestly don't think anything before her mattered very much. My soul knows this is where I was walking to the entire time. Now I get to live and learn and grow like I didn't even know what life was before her. I know that's going to happen again, with just as  much force as it came with the first time. If i'm being honest, part of me is a little intimidated by that. The vulnerability that comes with growing your heart to surround another - that can be scary. I feel my love for the sweet boy I'm growing right now, while knowing that it's nothing to what I'm going to feel when I meet him. It's an odd feeling the second time. I love him, but I know how the love you feel while pregnant looks so dim in comparison to the way your heart explodes when you see their face and touch their skin.

 I'm trying to prepare myself while at the same time, know I can't possibly prepare. That's why I've been so absent everywhere lately. I'm just focused on taking care of myself, and getting Mackynzie ready to be a family of four. I have so much self work I want to do before he gets here. I have really lost myself since moving here, and I am desperately working to get myself back. To be her very best mother so that when he comes, he arrives into our lives peacefully and effortlessly. Right now I just feel like all the things I want to do and fix and work on at the end of the day, fade away by morning. So I've had to really just put everything else aside. I have realised that's the only way I'm going to accomplish what my heart needs. To shut out the distraction and chaos that is keeping up with other people's lives. It's just so not worth it to try and juggle it with the important things. I'm trying to find what works for right now, because I have finally realized that there is no such thing as balancing. Trying to balance everything is exhausting and a complete waste of time, because it just can't be done. Nobody can truly keep all their balls in the air. The thing is, we just have to decide which balls we let fall. If we try keeping them all up, then important ones end up laying on the floor being tripped over and causing more trouble.

 Instead, I know I just have to do what I can every day, and be the best mother/wife/person I can be and not ask a single thing more of myself. I have to extend that to those around me as well.

Right now, that probably means not seeing me whole lot via social media. I'll probably get behind on posts, or leave the blog quiet for periods (and then maybe post a whole bunch.). I know that eventually, I'll find time for social media and blogging, but i'm not going to let it get in front of the important stuff anymore. Honestly, I feel like when I put it that way I'll never have time, but I'm sure that won't be the case. I just want to step away from the camera and the updates and know that it's okay to just capture things in my heart. I want my kids to remember a mom who played and laughed and messed up and gave the best snuggles and hugs and kissed way too much. Not a mom who was always behind a camera or phone or not paying as much attention as I could be. It's easy to say but it's actually really hard to practice. Getting sucked into this huge social media movement (whatever you want to call it) really gets a hold of you. It makes you feel like you need it. It's a mindless craving and becomes habit so quickly. I'm not saying i'm quitting anything, I'm just saying I'm not committing to any of it. I just can't. I would love to have a consistent blog where I share everything, but right now it's just eating up too much of my precious time. She turned three. And the past year I was just so far away from where I wanted to be. A whole year of being in this confusing middle place with everything- I just can not let that happen for any longer. I need to be present and I have to re learn what that means and feel my way there.

 So with all of these feelings spilled out across the screen, I'll say this. I'm not leaving, but I'm not staying either. I'll see you when I see you. I have this weird obligatory feeling because I have a blog and it's sort of ridiculous.

 I am so thankful for all of you. For your support. For your patience as I figure out life and try to write about it. Thank you. I have learned an incredible amount from you, and I'm sure I will learn more.

 Now, I'm going to snuggle beside my sleeping daughter while my son kicks and moves inside.

Amen to this! Coffee in the morning on the swing in the back yard, pugs running around the yard, birds singing and a gentle breeze. My happy place to just be. No mater where you are, where you live, you can create that special place.

Monday, October 14, 2013

Full heart, full belly and pure joy

We had such a beautiful weekend. It was filled with family and fun and fall. We had our birthday party and thanksgiving on Saturday, ran errands and played on Sunday, and Monday we caught up on things needing to be done, took the dogs and Mackynzie to their parks, and went on our first ever date since becoming parents. (I plan to do some serious blog catching up this week!)

It is so stunning outside right now. This fall season has been crisp, without being cold, and the  colors have just been exploding from the trees. I'm going to try my best to get us outside to soak up the rest of it, as it doesn't last too far past halloween for us. We have leaves to collect and more pine cones and sticks to find for christmas decoration crafts.

 One of my favorite things about fall is that it seems to make everyone happy. It's almost something you can't help. As soon as you step outside and smell the leaves and feel the cold, you get this little piece of serene beauty.

 I really hope you all had a beautiful weekend. I hope your thanksgivings were so blessed and your belly's are very full if you're Canadian. I also really hope you all took a chance to get outside and see something beautiful in the simple things. I am constantly overwhelmed with the blessings in my life. My heart and my belly are both very full. Now everyone, go play in some leaves!

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Hearty Cold Weather Stew

   The cold weather is here, pumpkins are popping up everywhere, it could only mean one thing. Time to pull out the crock pot and make delicious hot dinners for the cold evenings. Not to mention that the whole being pregnant thing makes me not want to do a lot in the kitchen.

This recipe is completely clean eating friendly. Each ingredient is nutrient dense and hearty. It literally tastes like fall. Pair it with something pumpkin and sweet for desert and you have hit the fall eating jack pot. This is my favorite stew to date and I have been excitedly awaiting lunch time so I can eat leftovers. Make this, it's delicious.

This recipe is from Tosca Reno, however I changed a few things slightly to suit our family.

Get the recipe Here.

I changed/omitted the following ingredients:

* I chose not to coat the meat in the flour, and instead do what I usually do, which is cook the meat on a high heat to brown the outside and cook it about half+ way. (in coconut oil)

* Since I didn't do the flower mix, I added the seasonings to the whole stew. I used sea salt, pepper, and about a tablespoon  of Italian seasoning.

* I added a couple more carrots.

* I used 1 sweet potato instead of two, and replaced the second sweet potato with a large white potato.

* I did NOT add the nuts, as Cody has a nut allergy.

I did everything else to follow the recipe and changed only the above mentioned items. For those of you who have asked how I make stew It's exactly this, only this time I added the parsnips and sweet potato.

I hope you enjoy it! We certainly did.

Let me know how you liked it if you tried it, and if you changed anything!

Happy eating!

20 Weeks (Name announcement)

 5 Months! Halfway there! What?...

 It took us a bit to figure out his middle name, but our little boy is officially named! Grayson Wyatt Miller.
   We are early birds when it comes to naming our kids, apparently. We think until our thinkers are sore and then all of a sudden the pieces click together and it just feels right. We decided on Mackynzie's name the day before we found out she was a girl. Cody brought up Grayson and it just stuck. We decided that would probably be our boy's name in august, and then once we found out he was a boy, we knew it was right. It took us a couple of days after finding out, to come up with his middle name, but we found one and now our little guy is named! Plus, I think Mackynzie and Grayson sounds awesome together.

 We thought about not sharing our baby's name a while ago. You always have people telling you stories about how they told, and then someone 'stole' the name, or people didn't like it and made them feel bad about it. Cody and I sat down and chatted about it and (like usual) he gave me no doubts that sharing the name was no big deal. Because really, Cody and I are the only one's who have to like the name. We just needed to pick something with meaning to us and if someone had a problem with it, then good for them. It's not like we would change it because great grandma sally (not an actual person..) didn't like the name. And the name stealing? Well, there are other people with the same names in the world. It's just going to happen, and would be silly to try and avoid! If someone I know decided  to name their baby the same thing, well cool, we are still going to keep the name. No big deal to us. So after that little conversation, we decided to share his name with you! And continuing on with the usual post...

How far along? 20 weeks (but with possible new 'due' date, lets say 20 weeks, 6 days.)

Total weight gain: Current weight: 135, so 3 pounds this week. Hey, growth spurt! That means from pre pregnancy I have gained 5 lbs total so far.

Maternity clothes? No, but bigger clothes, yes.

Stretch marks? Not any new ones. I'm trying to be really on top of coconut oiling my belly now. I have an itchy belly now and then..

Sleep: Good. Have to roll over with my body pillow now though, which is a bit annoying. I can't sleep on one side all night anymore.

Best moment of the week: He is moving so much more, so that's really cool when he gives some good kicks that everyone can see. Oh, It was really funny last weekend when I was holding a girlfriend's new baby. He kept kicking the baby. Mackynzie did that when I held babies too.

Miss anything? Tea. And lifting my knees past my hips; He is so darn low.

Number of times I get up to pee at night: this week has been more.. like 1-3 times. we will see if that continues.

Movement: Lots, and not just when I'm sitting still now.

Food Cravings: Still no real 'cravings' but I love orange juice. Super satisfying.

Anything making you queasy or sick: Fast food.

Gender prediction: I can probably take this one out now. It's a boy!

Labor signs: No.

Symptoms: my hips lock up. Need to put yoga back in daily. hard when you feel like a tin man! I get heartburn when I eat refined flour, like crap cookies...

Belly button in or out? Half. Top is out, bottom is in.

Wedding rings on or off? On, with room to spare right now.

Happy or moody most of the time? Happy. But I've really had to work on not being a debby downer in these last months we are living here. I just want to move!

Looking forward to: Everything! I'm really enjoying taking my time and enjoying this pregnancy day by day.

Here is the side view for week 20. Mackynzie has a rubber snake in her mouth, and the dog thinks we are going somewhere because we are standing by the door.

I did bare belly only weekly shots with Mackynzie. felt a little weird to not be doing any with this pregnancy, so I am going to include a nakey belly shot as well from here on out. Bellies do crazy things and I want to watch it change! (I'm assuming that's my knuckle photo-bombing the corner.)

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

It's the tough times that grow us.

 So I feel like I haven't done a real post on here in a while...

  In short, life has been busy. More so, it's been stressful. I have been a giant ball of anxiety and stress and emotion (completely unrelated to pregnancy.). I'm not going to lie to you, living with the in-laws has been hard. Like really hard. It's tested everything in me, and has made me work on things that don't typically get a work out. For this, I am thankful. In the big picture, our decision to move home for a year has been a blessing. But day to day it's a challenge. Lately, I have been really struggling to push through these final months. this past week, I even hit that really weak place. I threw my hands up and just said 'I can't do this anymore. I'm done. I have nothing left.' accompany that with messy sobs that were, of course, able to flow more freely due to pregnancy and I'm sure you get the picture.

 It's times like these, that I am especially grateful for my husband. The way we balance each other out is hard for me to understand. I'm not going to try to; I know we are soul mates and that we are the perfect combination for each other.
  Cody held me close in this moment and while there was a pause in my tears, he lifted my chin and smiled at me.

"I know this is hard. But this is our test. Look how far you've come! We are so close to being done, and if anyone can turn these last months into something amazing, it's you.I will do whatever I can to help you. Let me clean, and please, for the love of god, put your feet up at the end of the day and let me take care of what didn't get done. Go to bed early, read a book- let's go get you a new book-, have a bath, just relax. This is that turning point where you get through the hardest part, and then make something awesome of it. Think of how awesome it's going to be to say 'We did it!' and then get to continue on with our life. You've got this, hun, and I'm right here with you"

Of course, i'm paraphrasing a little because I didn't write it as he said it, but still, he is amazing. How I got so lucky, I will never know, but I will live my life trying my best to love him exactly how he deserves to be loved.

 I feel better now. I have a new spring in my step and I can see the finish line. I don't know exactly when we are moving, I'm hoping before Christmas, but January at the latest. You never know, it could even be soon. This pregnant mama just wants  to nest! I will get to though, and in the mean time, i'm doing everything I can to prep and list-make and organize to make things easier when we do move.

 Cody and Mackynzie's birthday is next week (crazy!) and that kick starts lots of busy events to prepare for before our little boy makes his arrival.I'm super excited to celebrate them.

 I'm taking this time to just step back and focus on the good, important stuff, but when I do have spare time, I plan to spend it here and ignore my social media networks for a while. I just don't have time to keep up with it all right now!

 The air is chilly, the leaves are crunchy, and winter is giving hints of it's impending arrival. Happy October everyone! I hope you make it a good one!